Internet Adoption Scams and Deceit
ADOPTION INSIGHT
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Written by -
Last Updated: Friday, 24 July 2009
After a great deal of disappointment and frustration surrounding infertility and
miscarriages, couples sometimes come to the decision to adopt. They became
hopeful, even enthusiastic.
They learn the Internet can make finding a birth mother potentially easier and
more affordable. (…or so the myth bacons to them) They are ready. They are
willing. They are, the most likely of sitting ducks in an Internet pond.
Most couples setting out in the adoption pond of wishful adoption explorers expect
disappointments. When inexperienced couples set out to explore and navigate the
internet pond of adoption possibilities on their own, they might expect to spend
time and money on a prospective birth mother, get emotionally invested, and then
learn at the last minute she changed her mind. After all it is not outside of the law
for a birth mother to change her mind. A birth mother cannot be forced to complete
an agreement with a prospective adopting couple even if they have given her
money. The money is just a benevolent gift.
Many women who are expecting have access to the internet as well, and have been
navigating the desperate couples and opportunities presented by the numerous
unmonitored chats and blogging areas. Each encounter further educates the
unscrupulous expectant mother in the ways available to emotionally attach to
couples wanting to adopt. She is further educated by the numerous legal blogs
about her rights and possibilities in each state. The day of a facilitator or adoption
agency taking advantage of the expectant mother is less the case in this electronic
day of instant information and instant access.
Rarely can the couple expecting to circumvent the facilitators and agencies imagine
or believe what will happen to them. They never make it to the attorneys and
courts who are a part of the adoption process. The situations of the would-be
adopting parents are exploited. They become the target of someone who knows
exactly what she is doing. She has plotted and planned this all along and may be
working with several hopeful couples at the same time. The women is well versed
in just how to string them along, and play on the emotions and sympathies if people
desperate for an infant or child. In more elaborate scams other players in the scam
may be the boyfriend or a group of friends. It is not unheard of for there to be
individuals traveling together to play the parts of facilitator and even posing as an
attorney along with the birth mother.
While states have made great strides in the adoption laws there will always be
individuals on all sides of the process who have a scheme plotted out to take
advantage of a desperate situation.
Know whom your working with. Check out every reference. References are not
necessarily those who have used their services, as anyone could say they used the
services of an individual or pose as a past client. Quality references are those of the
State Bar Associations, Better Business Bureau, State and local licensing, Bonding,
Chambers of Commerce, as well as Professional affiliations and organizations. Use
"quality references" when researching who to work with or through and from
those "quality references" obtain the individuals who will speak on behalf of the
person or agency being investigated. While individuals and agencies are more than
willing to give a list of general references of others having used their services, how
wise is it to rely on that list alone?
Be adoption wise not emotional by working with professionals. Allow the
professionals to do the job they know well and connect you with the best possible
match available for your circumstances. Professional councilors, facilitators,
agencies and attorneys all have a much better background to assess the
commitment of a potential birth mother. The professionals all have a better
opportunity and the resources to keep tabs on any potential alarms or problems
and how to resolve them.
Many hopeful adopting couples even have ideas of having a birth mother live with
them to avoid some of the expenses, bond, and share the pregnancy experience.
This is an extremely special circumstance and takes special personalities and
commitments to make the situation work. It is also potentially explosive and has a
greater risk of loosing the birth mother if personalities don't gel well. An unknown
birth mother is possibly a transient person with all the inherent problems of
transient persons, not just some young person down on their luck. There is a great
risk of inviting a cancerous, potentially dangerous, opportunity for unscrupulous
behaviors right into your home. Don't be a sitting duck.
In the long run and over the course of the entire experience the financial, emotional
and resources invested in the adoption process are much safer and will yield an
earlier resolution when invested with quality professionals from the beginning.
Last Updated: Friday, 24 July 2009
Last Updated: Friday, 24 July 2009
After a great deal of disappointment and frustration surrounding infertility and
miscarriages, couples sometimes come to the decision to adopt. They became
hopeful, even enthusiastic.
They learn the Internet can make finding a birth mother potentially easier and
more affordable. (…or so the myth bacons to them) They are ready. They are
willing. They are, the most likely of sitting ducks in an Internet pond.
Most couples setting out in the adoption pond of wishful adoption explorers expect
disappointments. When inexperienced couples set out to explore and navigate the
internet pond of adoption possibilities on their own, they might expect to spend
time and money on a prospective birth mother, get emotionally invested, and then
learn at the last minute she changed her mind. After all it is not outside of the law
for a birth mother to change her mind. A birth mother cannot be forced to complete
an agreement with a prospective adopting couple even if they have given her
money. The money is just a benevolent gift.
Many women who are expecting have access to the internet as well, and have been
navigating the desperate couples and opportunities presented by the numerous
unmonitored chats and blogging areas. Each encounter further educates the
unscrupulous expectant mother in the ways available to emotionally attach to
couples wanting to adopt. She is further educated by the numerous legal blogs
about her rights and possibilities in each state. The day of a facilitator or adoption
agency taking advantage of the expectant mother is less the case in this electronic
day of instant information and instant access.
Rarely can the couple expecting to circumvent the facilitators and agencies imagine
or believe what will happen to them. They never make it to the attorneys and
courts who are a part of the adoption process. The situations of the would-be
adopting parents are exploited. They become the target of someone who knows
exactly what she is doing. She has plotted and planned this all along and may be
working with several hopeful couples at the same time. The women is well versed
in just how to string them along, and play on the emotions and sympathies if people
desperate for an infant or child. In more elaborate scams other players in the scam
may be the boyfriend or a group of friends. It is not unheard of for there to be
individuals traveling together to play the parts of facilitator and even posing as an
attorney along with the birth mother.
While states have made great strides in the adoption laws there will always be
individuals on all sides of the process who have a scheme plotted out to take
advantage of a desperate situation.
Know whom your working with. Check out every reference. References are not
necessarily those who have used their services, as anyone could say they used the
services of an individual or pose as a past client. Quality references are those of the
State Bar Associations, Better Business Bureau, State and local licensing, Bonding,
Chambers of Commerce, as well as Professional affiliations and organizations. Use
"quality references" when researching who to work with or through and from
those "quality references" obtain the individuals who will speak on behalf of the
person or agency being investigated. While individuals and agencies are more than
willing to give a list of general references of others having used their services, how
wise is it to rely on that list alone?
Be adoption wise not emotional by working with professionals. Allow the
professionals to do the job they know well and connect you with the best possible
match available for your circumstances. Professional councilors, facilitators,
agencies and attorneys all have a much better background to assess the
commitment of a potential birth mother. The professionals all have a better
opportunity and the resources to keep tabs on any potential alarms or problems
and how to resolve them.
Many hopeful adopting couples even have ideas of having a birth mother live with
them to avoid some of the expenses, bond, and share the pregnancy experience.
This is an extremely special circumstance and takes special personalities and
commitments to make the situation work. It is also potentially explosive and has a
greater risk of loosing the birth mother if personalities don't gel well. An unknown
birth mother is possibly a transient person with all the inherent problems of
transient persons, not just some young person down on their luck. There is a great
risk of inviting a cancerous, potentially dangerous, opportunity for unscrupulous
behaviors right into your home. Don't be a sitting duck.
In the long run and over the course of the entire experience the financial, emotional
and resources invested in the adoption process are much safer and will yield an
earlier resolution when invested with quality professionals from the beginning.
Last Updated: Friday, 24 July 2009
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