FAQS from Birth Mothers/Parents
Written by -
Last Updated: Friday, 24 July 2009
Common Questions about Adoption
The most common form of adoption before 1970 was the practice of closed
adoption. A closed adoption or an adoption with sealed records was
believed to protect the privacy of all the parties involved. The parties rarely
met or talked prior to the adoption process.
In the early 1980's, as adoptees from previous generations, became more
aware of a need to know more about the birth families for various reasons,
the adoption process began changing. The primary change was to allow for
openness in the adoption process so that the parties to the adoption
process had additional choices in the effects on the lives of each.
Adoption Insight would like to talk with birth mothers/parents about the
process today and answer any questions or misconceptions about the
adoption process and plans that are possible in our system today.
Below are some of the more commonly asked questions:
Adoption Insight does business exclusively as an adoption Facilitation Service as
defined by the California State Family Code. Adoption Insight is not a California
Adoption Agency.
Last Updated: Friday, 24 July 2009
Common Questions about Adoption
The most common form of adoption before 1970 was the practice of closed
adoption. A closed adoption or an adoption with sealed records was
believed to protect the privacy of all the parties involved. The parties rarely
met or talked prior to the adoption process.
In the early 1980's, as adoptees from previous generations, became more
aware of a need to know more about the birth families for various reasons,
the adoption process began changing. The primary change was to allow for
openness in the adoption process so that the parties to the adoption
process had additional choices in the effects on the lives of each.
Adoption Insight would like to talk with birth mothers/parents about the
process today and answer any questions or misconceptions about the
adoption process and plans that are possible in our system today.
Below are some of the more commonly asked questions:
 | Why do some women contemplate placing their baby/child for | |
| adoption? |
- The reasons are many that cause some expectant mothers to choose adoption.
An expectant mother or someone who has been mothering for a short time may
feel too inexperienced for parenting or to young to want to be someone's
mother. Many pregnant women have career and educational goals, which they
feel need their full attention. They may be concerned about the added
distraction from their goals by supporting and caring for a child. Some birth
mothers believe adoption for their child will provide a more fulfilling and happy
life with two parents. Some birth mothers feel an adopting couple will
unconditionally want, love, and be ready to care for a child. It's important to
realize women choosing adoption for their child, love their children very much.
In some cases they too want to have and raise children one day. Sometimes a
young single mother will become overwhelmed by the statistics of her current
situation and out of concern for her child make decisions she feels is best for the
future of that child or children.
 | What judgments are placed on women who choose adoption? |
- Some people are critical because of a lack of understanding of the complete
circumstances. Others will understand that adoption is chosen out of great love.
The desire for a child to be raised in a loving, caring, stable, family group
motivates most decisions to place a child for adoption. At the end of the day the
decision is with the woman desiring the best possible outcome for the life of a
child. Most significant, is the judgment a woman places with herself. The
woman must absolutely know within herself she has made a complicated but
noble decision.
 | What role does the baby's father have in the need to know about | |
| the pregnancy or consent to the adoption? |
- The law stipulates a father must be informed of his child. If telling the father
about the child is a difficult process or there is uncertainty about the identity of
the father, Adoption Insight can assist you with this process. Adoption Insight
encourages the birth parents to discuss the process together with the
professionals they are considering working with. We encourage both birth
parents to be involved in making the choice about who will adopt their child
when possible. It is frequently best to have the father's cooperation throughout
the process. Birth mothers who are finding the process of telling the father
about his child difficult may want the legal and emotional support of counseling
by a counselor and an attorney.
 | If we are under the age of legal consent will we need our parents' | |
| consent to place a child for adoption? |
- California birth parents do not need parental consent at any age to make an
adoption plan. The parents of the child, regardless of age, are considered an
adult for the purposes of making decisions about their pregnancy. Many birth
parents will want to seek out the council of their parents' support for their
pregnancy and adoption plans. Some parents may be hurt or upset about the
pregnancy or the choices you wish to make. It is important to have the love and
support of parents' when making decisions that affect the family at large.
Adoption Insight will assist you with professional referrals as necessary in
making your decisions while guarding the confidentiality of your decisions.
Adoption will still be your legal decision.
 | What types of people are wanting to adopt? |
- The types and reasons couples or individuals choose to adopt are as diversified
as the reasons a birth mother or birth parents make the choice for adoption.
Most adopting couples have a burning desire to share their lives and resources
with a child. Many couples have gone through years of trying to conceive a baby:
miscarriages, medical treatments, surgeries etc. These couples or individuals
are stable in terms of careers and finances. Many of them have been preparing
for children for several years. The couples or individuals have gone through a
home-study and been reviewed for their fitness and abilities to raise a child.
These are people who are committed and excited about the tasks and
responsibilities of parenting.
 | How are adoptive parents chosen? |
- Adoption Insight first discusses the desires of the birth mother/parents with
each and presents them with many possible options. After some decisions have
been made by the birth mother/parents, profiles of prospective adopting
couples are presented for each to read and assess. Next there is a phone
conference time scheduled with couples who's profiles have been chosen by the
birth mother/parents. The birth mother/parents are able to ask any questions
they need to and there is an informal interviewing process that progresses
between the couple or individual wanting to adopt and the birth parents over a
period of time. The process that takes place after the phone conference is
discussed between Adoption Insight and the birth mother/parents until
everyone is comfortable with the decisions and the plan for adoption.
 | Are there any guarantees to the birth parents the baby/child will | |
| have a good home? |
- Adoption Insight insures the birth parents choose the couple for their child. In
Addition, California law requires all adopting couples or individuals to complete
a home study, before an adoption can be finalized. All agency and independent
adoptions through facilitation or attorneys require prospective adopting parents
to provide a complete history before a home-study can be finalized. Adopting
couples or individuals are fingerprinted and screened for criminal background
checks. Local State Social Service agents make several unannounced visits to
the home of the prospective adoption as a part of the screening process to
insure everything is as it is represented to them and will be represented to you.
The birthmothers/parents choose the adopting parents for her/their child after
meeting them. (If you have chosen to meet in your adoption plan) birth
mothers/parents must be completely comfortable in all the decisions for the
adoption plan. For example; a family can be chosen that shares a chosen faith
and values and/or meets ideals, such as matching interests/hobbies.
 | What happens if a birth mother has second thoughts? |
- Birth mothers, must by law, be advised of their legal rights in advance of an
adoption by a social worker, who is again by law, the unbiased advocate of the
Birth mother/parent. Birth mothers/parents do not sign adoption
relinquishments until after the birth. The placement agreement is permanent
after 30 days. Most birth mothers/parents have thought painstakingly about
adoption and the process during the pregnancy and have made a solid decision.
Rarely do birth mothers/parents change their mind after birth. Generally there
has been time prior to the birth to form trusting and lasting bonds between the
birth mother/parents and the adoptive parents. The bonds of trust and the
commitment between the parents is a strong and serious commitment for the
benefit of the child.
 | What financial help is available for birth mothers? |
- The law is clear in that it does not allow for the payment of a child. California
law allows for the adopting parents to pay legal, medical, counseling, and other
expenses directly related to the pregnancy through an agency, facilitator or
attorney. All allowable expenses must be recorded and reported to the courts
before an adoption can be finalized.
 | How your child may benefit from an Open Adoption? |
- The child will know that you the birth parent loved them enough to want
the best for them. - Knowledge of why he or she was adopted, because you cared about
them and their future. - Opportunity for the child to receive information regarding his or her
biological family. - Opportunity for ongoing contact between yourself, the Adoptive Family
and the child. - Opportunity to choose the baby's Adoptive Parents.
- Opportunity to receive letters and pictures of the baby and be able to
watch them grow up from a distance.
Adoption Insight does business exclusively as an adoption Facilitation Service as
defined by the California State Family Code. Adoption Insight is not a California
Adoption Agency.
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